Being assertive is not something that comes naturally to everyone. I’m sure we all feel awkward and compromised sometimes – but it’s a really important skill to have. Practice in everyday situations can lead to more confident and healthy choices. And in more serious situations, that confidence and clarity can actually help to keep you and others safe. Rosemary, member of the Somerset Youth Parliament advisory group has written a beautiful article on this very subject.
Hi I’m Rosemary, a new member of Somerset Youth Parliament’s Advisory Group. Here’s my article on-
The Art Of Saying “NO”: Your secret weapon
Have you ever agreed to share a pizza, but ended up with olives and mushrooms even though you hate them? Chewing, you sat there wishing you’d spoken up, but the desire not to be difficult held you back.
Life is kind of like that pizza. If you say ‘Yes’ to everything everyone asks of you – even the stuff you don’t want to do – you end up with a life covered in toppings, you can’t stand. Saying ‘No’ isn’t about being a party pooper. It’s about making sure that when you show up, you’re actually enjoying the meal.
Saying no protects your personal brand from becoming a copy of everyone else. A polite refusal to things that don’t fit your vibe shows people that you have a backbone. This does not just build respect but integrity and authenticity.
When faced with a persuader who just wouldn’t take no for an answer, you need strategies to stay firm without losing your cool. Here are three powerful methods to employ:
The Broken record
This method is about consistency. By repeating the same calm phrase, you avoid giving them new excuses to argue with you. Despite, agreeing to share pizza, you could say, I prefer plain cheese and pepperoni on my half. They may try to persuade you into giving in, remain firm, and politely repeat I prefer plain cheese and pepperoni on my half”. You become a solid, polite wall they can’t break through.
The Parental out
Let the outside authority take the heat! This strategy shifts the blame away from you and onto the rule you can’t break. Example you could say ‘I would love to try olives and mushroom toppings but my parents are really strict with my diet’, so I have to say NO to a full olive and mushroom topping. The unbreakable rule acts as a perfect shield when you feel nervous.
Finally, if you want to stay firm but keep your friendship strong, try..
The Sandwich method
Basically, you sandwich your “no” between two positive statements. Top bun starts with compliment, the filling contains your clear and firm “no”, and the last bun closes with a positive vibe. For instance, you could say, ‘I always enjoy sharing pizza with you. However, I dislike olive and mushroom toppings, can you ensure it stays on one side, I appreciate you always look out for me; you are so cool’.
At the end of the day, your time is yours. Every time you say “No” it maybe something that drains you, but you’re saving a “Yes” to something that lights you up!
You don’t have to be a ‘yes-person’ to be a good friend. Just be honest, stay calm, and remember: you are the CEO of your own life.
Rosemary
Not just elected members
Did you know that Somerset Youth Parliament isn’t just it’s elected members? Any young person in Somerset aged 10-25 years can become a member of the Somerset Youth Parliament Advisory Group.
For more information about becoming a member of the Somerset Youth Parliament Advisory Group and to join, visit our Join Us page.
